Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
