PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I will pee on everything he values.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
