Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
