there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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