and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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