yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
