yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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