I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites