he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.