They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Drunk is not a location!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
