I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
