Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
