i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When are your genitals available?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
