i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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