So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
