my vag is so smooth its legendary
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
