Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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