The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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