she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
