how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
