i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
