Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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