I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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