I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
