I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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