Already got asked if we're dating
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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