I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
