you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize