did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
