Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Panties = found
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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