it was like his penis was on wheels.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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