You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
