I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
