So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
