you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
