The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
