I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
