if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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