what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
