Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
