I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's just like the Real World with babies
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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