pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize