Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
