I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
BRING THE BAGELS
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
