i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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