Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
