I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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