Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
