so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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