Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
