If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
