apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
