he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
