considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize