I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
