I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
