I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize