I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize