Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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