I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Congratulations! We have a period
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
