sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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