I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
