Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
