So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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